If You Have A Personality, You Have A "Disorder"

"Disorder" Is Not A Mix-up At McDonald's

Leggo my... Chikkin sammich?

        So I'm trying to make 2 posts a week.  One of fiction, and one of brain stuff, although I wish I could do 2 brain stuff posts.  That being said, sorry if I miss.  See, I don't get money for what I do, because I use tons of images from people who have not given permission.  This means I can't use advertising, and am trying to do this for free as I try to work, launch my 4th company, become a psych therapist, be a dad, and still find some time to sleep.  And, of course, follow BYU football, but that one really goes without saying.

        Okay, so as a psych therapist in training, I am a little upset with how some people--some mainstream psychologists included--seem to reduce people to their diagnosis.  "Oh, he has prosopagnosia."  "I have this friend, he is autistic."
         Now, to some extent, this can tell me a little something about a person, but there is so much more to a person than that.  Each person adjusts differently to their own "stuff" and no two people are alike, regardless of the fact that they are both bipolar, or autistic, or borderline, or whatever!

Everybody Is At Least A Little Crazy

       "Crazy" is a word that usually means "That person has a serious mental disorder."  The APA (Amercian Psychological Association,) say that a disorder is "A mental disorder or psychiatric disorder is a psychological pattern or anomaly, potentially reflected in behavior, that is generally associated with distress or disability, and which is not considered part of normal development in a person's culture."  This is an exhausting way to say, "He/she does stuff or feels stuff differently than most people around him/her; is different from 'normal' a way that can cause big problems in life."  
       Thing is, that can be any of us.  In my second year as a psych major, I took an class on personality theory. I thought it was weird that I would be taking a class on personality was a prerequisite for so many clinical psych classes.   It took me a long time to realize why.  Personality is not just "You are a blue, you are a yellow,"  (and by the way, people can score a different color depending on their mood, that is not really a great test for anything but taking for fun.)  Personalities are 'disorders,' even if only mini ones.  If you have a personality, you have a disorder.

The questions have tons of
different sections; the questions
get more complex, but this is
a basic example.

...Say What?

        Psychologists give people intensive tests (that usually take several hours,) to help them know how those people think, how they feel in different situations.  Psychologists don't rely strictly on those, and usually use at least two tests, interview the person face-to-face, and talk to many people that know this person in real life before making a decision.  Two of the major tests are the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) and the Personality Assessment Inventory (PAI).  Notice they both say "personality"?  To psychologists, depression is a feature of personality.  So is paranoia.  So are hallucinations.  So are obsessions, compulsions, tendencies, and your pattern of moods.
        In these tests, of you score in the middle, you are 'normal.'  Score at the edges, and it is a disorder.  For example, you are upbeat and outgoing.  This is a personality trait.  Now, let's say that you are so outgoing that you are dependent on approval of others, and are desperate for their attention.  This is a disorder called Histrionic Personality Disorder.  You are low-key and keep to yourself.  This is a personality trait.  Or, you are so much of a loner that you really don't care for interacting with other people at all, not just strangers, anybody.  You have no close friends, not even in your family, and you don't care.  This is Schizoid Personality Disorder.  Same with cheerful vs. manic; subdued vs. depressed.  

It's Not Normal To Be "Normal"

         Really, psychology is about stats; finding out through testing what most people are like, so we know what 'normal' is.  The problem is that the person who scores a perfect 'normal' on every section of the tests does not exist.  You will probably score a normal in many parts, but nobody is a perfect "normal."            This is something we all know on some level, and most of us feel at least a little crazy sometimes, but rarely do we ever think "my personality shows that I am slightly histrionic, and a little schizophrenic."  Usually, it's not enough to cause big enough problems to be important, or we figure out ways to cope.  Sometimes the problem is so big that it needs treatment of some kind, or so unique that we need help figuring out some way to cope.  
         Now when exactly does it stop being a "trait" and start being a disorder?  At the score that the people who make the test say it should.  It is a straight line, and if you are being tested for bipolar, and the disorder is "80 or higher", and you score a "79," then you aren't bipolar.  Most psychologists would call it "borderline bipolar" and still recommend treatment, but the point is this:

         Having an extreme personality trait means that the unique workings of your can make life hard sometimes.  Having a much smaller trait doesn't mean that you don't have those problems, you just have them less.  To have a personality is to have a mini-disorder, and can make life tough sometimes.  Just realize that as you walk through life, you do not see things with a perfectly healthy brain, and neither does anybody else.  Cut them and yourself a little slack!

Can't Have Your Cake And Eat It Too.

         So a lot of the time, the very things we love about a person are the same things that can drive us nuts.  Almost every personality trait and disorder has an upside and a downside.  You have this friend who is hilarious and exciting to be around?  Most likely being around them too long is really tiring, maybe even annoying.  There is a person who is really chill, and doesn't seem to demand anything from you, or judge you?  They probably aren't the first person you rush to with exciting news; it's also possible that when you are in a crisis and need someone, they will not want you to expect things from them.  Love an actor because of how amazing they are at acting?  Their vast versatility of emotions might be because their "emotional thermometer" is broken, and they are constantly feeling extremes of emotion, so they might be super dramatic in real life.  Many bipolar people find amazing creativity in the mix of their up-and-down; autism comes with unparalleled focus, which can lead to being a genius in their selected field (although it can be hard for them to focus at will.)

         Case in point:  high IQ and mental disorder go hand-in-hand.  A very high percentage of people who are listed as "geniuses" that are also listed as mentally ill.  Reason?  They think in a way that others do not.  They have very unique minds.  That's why they think of things that other people can't.  You can't have that and expect it not to conflict with the way other peoples' minds work!
        There are always exceptions, but basically, the more different a person is, the more difference they can make in society, and the more likely they are to have a very extraordinary life, good and bad.
         Yet we go around expecting other people to be perfect, yet be understanding of our own imperfections.  That boy that bags the groceries had better be polite, no matter what is going on inside him. My family had better understand that I had a hard day, no matter what happened in their day.  My boss had better be understanding when I am late, but I should never have to miss a vacation day because he forgot to file it!
         Just ease up and realize that we are all amazing at being our very own unique us and that means we are all sick. Deal with the crap of others as you hope they deal with yours. We're all only human. Be humane.

Happiness Abuse: How Brainzes Work (How To Be Happy Without Even Trying Part II)

Too Much Of A Good Thing

They told me I could be anything when
I grew up.  I wanted to be a balloon
animal.  

        So I claimed that ease and happiness is a drug, and chasing the high doesn't work, and promised to explain how.  Today I finally make good on that promise.  See, I've been trying to find a diagram of a synapse that is written in English, not neuroscience, but found that to be a fruitless quest.  I resorted to making my own in Paint.  I hope you are impressed.  It took forever.  You remember the "I Can Read" books from back when you were short?  I want this to be "I Can Neuroscience." For any uber-neuro-nerds like myself, I'll put the technical terms at the bottom later, so you can find more about it on the interwebs.

        So this guy over here is pretty excited about the post today.  I'm sure you all are too, but the real reason I posted him is that muscles are sexy.  Now, ladies, show of hands, who thinks this much muscle is sexy?  Usually there are a few that think so, but good grief, can he even touch his head?  Also, are those veins or parasite worms from some sci-fi horror movie?  Most people are kind of put off when the muscles get too amazing.  You know, like slender is attractive vs. anorexic is worrying and makes us feel sad.  Too much of pretty much anything good will eventually be bad.  There are exceptions, of course.  You know, like bacon.  And you can never have too much cowbell.

Da Neuron

You know, if a centipede and a fried egg had a baby I think this is what it would look like.

That is your brain.  I know, right?
It should totally look more like
grey jello.

        That is a brain cell (neuron).  Now, I could spend a week or two telling you about axons, myelin coatings, Nodes of Ranvier, and other fun bits, but let's save those for later posts.  Today, we are just worried about the little spindly ends of those little tentacles there.  They go straight to other brain cells, and end up looking like this: 

No Touchy!

        So if we were to take a close look at the part where those tentacles connect to other neurons, we will notice that they don't actually touch.  When a brain cell sends a signal, little tiny chemical dots  are released from the tips of those bitty tentacles , and float around in your brain juice until they wander into specially-shaped sensor thingies on the other side.  One brain cell can play tons of different roles, send tons of different messages; pain, happiness, hunger, relaxation, the taste of pizza, whatever.  Our simplified version of a brain cells sending messages looks like this: (I only include 3 here, and there are really hundreds, but I figgered we should follow the K.I.S.S. method.  "Keep It Simple, Stupid!") 

I maked it mahselfs.  Go easy on me.

        Happy fits into special happy sensors, sad fits into sad, etc.  You might notice that I put in way more happy chemicals in this very sophisticated picture than any other chemical.   Let's say that this is you when you go into your "no-worries-man-paradise-on-a-beach-retirement".  Or playing a video game, or watching BYU win, or getting the phone number of that girl you like.  Or, you know, you are high as a hootenanny because you have been playing with Slick Eddie's "funky vitamins."  Whichever, everything is amazing!  

Balance Restored!
...Geez, balance sucks.

        Our bodies, being the amazing things they are, keep things balanced.  We have a gazillion little thermostats for everything; salt, temperature, sugar, different kinds of blood cells, all that jazz.  This is a good thing; well, at least, it keeps us alive, if you like that sort of thing.  I do, and I figure if you are alive and reading this blog, it means you are probably keen on living too.

        Anyway, we have a thermostat for these little brain cell messages too.  See, if you trigger the same brain-cell-message over and over and over all the time, it burns that baby out, and that brain cell dies.  (Which, by the way, is one of the theories of how rabies kills people. It makes your brain cells keep signalling until they die.)  That's kind of a bad thing, so your brain retracts some of those happiness sensors on the receiving end.  One receiver can't read as fast as many receivers, so "happy" is toned down to normal levels.  You actually become a little immune to happiness.  It looks (sorta) like this:

        So with your new happiness immunity; with tons of these "happy" messages being sent and only a few being read, you feel normal amount of happy.  You need more to make you happy.  Now what happens when you meet a little bit of sad in your life?  Or you run out of drugs?  Or you have to leave the beach?  Or BYU loses?   Less of the happy chemicals are sent, and it might bring you to normal chemical levels, but you have so few sensors that it feels... Well, like I did the day they cancelled "Firefly."

        We often talk about how humans are so versatile that we can train ourselves adapt to anything.  Happiness is no exception.  Even if sitting on the beach all day doesn't make you as high on happy as taking Charlie Sheen-like piles of drugs, you still get used to it.  The novelty wears off.  You adapt.

Disclaimers, Exceptions, Stipulations, Clarifications, And A Bag of Chips

        This is all talking about the average person. There are many people who naturally have higher tolerance for "happy."  As weird as it seems, that can be really bad.  It's the upswing of bi-polar.  They can get so lost in playing that they ignore the big important things like bills, jobs, family, and stuff like that.  Sometimes they get so lost in the feeling that they don't stop to think about consequences.  Some of them get addicted to things that make them feel the upper limits of their ability to feel happiness.  For some, it means that they can't cope with  a little sadness when it comes.

        Then there are people who have a broken 'happiness thermostat' from birth (or a ton of other things,) and get toned down to a state of depression.  

        Also, keep in mind that this is just a super-simple version, just to get the general idea across without giving a full course in neuropsychology.
        And the promised a bag of chips:

Okay, back to your regularly scheduled blog.

 Happy Iz All Gone?
What Me Use For Happy Now?

        Variety.  Sadness, pain, anxiety, stress, disappointment, sorrow.  Sorry to say it, but all these things can help you be more sensitive to the happiness.  I'm not saying you should all go out and be masochists.  I'm also not saying that just feeling a bit of sadness or pain will fix the immunity to happiness all by itself.  It takes practice to accept these "bad" emotions (but are they really bad?) as an unavoidable and necessary fact of life, and make emotions be something that happens to you, rather than thinking that feelings are you and letting them take over.
        Think of it this way.  The hungrier you are, the better the food tastes.  The more weary and worn out you are, the better that soft bed feels.  Emotions are much the same. We were not built with just one setting, and that is for a reason.  This is why I think it's silly that we try to keep ourselves permanently set on "blissful."  We are built to thrive in a beautifully broad spectrum of emotions; light, dark, soothing, vibrant, and everything in between.  One emotion, experienced by itself for a lifetime, loses all meaning; so does the life that it dominates.  One color makes for a boring painting.  Our lives are rich murals.

        Happiness is like a cat; the best way to get close to it is to stop chasing it relentlessly, and let it come to you when it feels like it.  Let your life center on what is meaningful and fulfilling, not what is pleasurable.  Let yourself figure out why "bittersweet" is often an oddly pleasant and satisfying thing.

Out of curiosity, have any of you experienced any of this?  Let me know your story!  Leave me a comment.  Even if you just disagree with me and want to say so, that's fine.  So does Freud.  I'd love to hear your points, and I promise not to treat you like a troll.  Hearing objections can only teach me more.